Let me just say that I have followed the eating plan to the mark (with the exception of a few tbsp cream in my coffee daily) for almost the entire time. In the beginning, I was eating by the book, but now I have modified my eating quite a bit. I have taylored my diet to:
a protein shake with almond milk first thing in the morning,
then to meal #1: 3 whole egg scramble, with sauted cauliflower and lentils
to meal #2: protien, sauted cauliflower and lentils,
to meal #3: protein and 2 veggie, No beans
and I never ever forget my new favorite coctail: 1/2 glass red wine + Diet Cherry Dr. Pepper on ice x2, EVERY NIGHT.
If I'm hungry before bed, I usually have a 1/2 cup cottage cheese.
I don't have cheat days anymore. I usually cheat at night after my dinner 2-4x a week. I follow the rule that if I get up to 140lbs on the scale, I stop cheating. When I get back down to 136lbs, if I crave something, I eat it.
My problem is that I don't know how to be happy with some of anything. I am an extreemist. I go super clean and good or I go super naughty and destructive. There is no middle ground. I would change this immediately about myself if I could.
If there has been one thing that has made the biggest impact on me since I started eating SCD, it has bee learning about all of the hangups I have in my mind in regards to food. Attatchments I never thought I had. Emotional dependence to food, especially being raised in an old school Italian family. It is really hard to stop looking at food as something that brings comfort or joy or pleasure. Eating to live instead of living to eat has been the hardest transition. And I am SO not there yet.
I thought that once I got to my 138lb goal that I would be happy. That just isn't the case. There isn't a day that goes by without me thinking about food more than I ought to. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't worry that I'm going to gain all of the weight back. Now that I don't have weight to lose, I tend to look at the flabby parts of my body that aren't perfect. There always seems to be something to critisize about our bodies. It's very hard being a woman in 21st century America, when it comes to self image.



